"I was spiralling in a direction I didn't want to be going."
Knight said all of it started in 2019 when he was a freshman at Boston College. For reasons he can't explain, he started excessively washing his hands. The trips to the washroom to run his hands under the tap increased to the point where he talked to his parents about it after that season and thought he might need some help...
It turned out to simply be the flu, but that was when something in Knight's brain clicked, and he began to have thoughts of contracting diseases and getting sick. From that time until he left the team in late February, Knight was having trouble sleeping, and it got to the point where he couldn't function...
«One of the feelings you get when something like this happens is that you just let everyone down,» Knight said. «I never wanted to feel like a burden.»
Knight spent the time off working 1-on-1 with an OCD expert and talking to others who manage the disorder in their daily lives. He feels he's much better equipped to live life on life's terms now, and while he faces a time of uncertainty and perhaps a period of adjustment to get back to his level of play, he's at peace with that and is prepared to approach things in a much more healthy way...
And he believes that will ultimately make him a better NHL goaltender.
«I can still be the player I want to be, and I still believe I can be one of the best goalies in this league,» Knight said. «Maybe it's this year, maybe it's next year, maybe it's in three years or four years or five years. I don't know. I know what I'm capable of accomplishing. It was there before and it has been there the whole time.»
